Love & Friendship

One man's perspective 

Love is often sold to us, bottled, packaged and delivered through every medium. "I love you," three words that take three seconds to say and yet a lifetime to prove.

 

In society today, it exists only in a commercial sense to keep producing dollars and cents.

 

I believe true love exists in a different realm, where two people accept each other first, then love each other second.  This isn't the love you see in Sex and the City or Bridget Jones' diary, indulging otherwise smart women with delusional and dysfunctional ideas of what constitutes love.

 

True love can't be criticised, it cannot simulate or fake...it just is.  True love will not demand from its recipients, moreover, it gives in abundance just for the love of it.

 

 

True love is truly unconditional; it isn't that love at first sight hype.

 

Ok..."so where does one find true love?"

 

First we need to understand where and on what level love operates and resonates.  If love transcends sex, race, class and religion, then it's safe to say it isn't about the physical aspect.

 

Mentally, two people can get along but this suggests an intellectual pairing which of course is good and looks better on paper...but love defies all logic so even though a meeting of minds can produce strong relationship qualities, it will only be dependent on each other’s minds remaining in that perfect state- all the time!!!

 

So that leaves the spirit or soul connection. It appears to be the most perfect fit since the soul has unlimited resources, it is intangible as well as unconditional.  True love can dwell here happily since it is free from conditions, it is free from judgements, there are no criticisms or any of the other modern constraints we place on love to justify our hidden insecurities.

 

Love and friendship are similar but we tend to separate the two.  The difference between society-defined love and friendship is that we are taught that as friends we are all on the same side, so we share common interests, beliefs and ideas.  But on the flip side, your lover who you hold so much love for is viewed as an opposite (Venus vs. mars etc.,) men and women argue with loved ones and choose to see difference when there should be oneness.

 

Remember that by playing and praying together, you'll stay together.  When we can learn to just BE...in each other’s presence, we can find true happiness.

 

It is also good practice to understand where you and your partner place your highest level of value e.g., if I value love more than anything and my partner's highest value is friendship, this can make for a lifetime of mixed messages and hurt feelings.

 

For true love to survive and flourish, lovers must adopt a friendlier, healthier attitude towards their life partners.

 

Instead of seeing your opposite, see your compliment.

Where you notice difference, look for sameness.

 

Be honest with yourself, do you really love your partner as unconditionally as your best friend??? If not, why not???

 

A failure to do this can explain why relationships have a finite amount of time attached to them in contrast to that of an enduring friendship.

 

By putting criticism, judgement and conditions on your relationship, you will limit your love's potential...and ultimately your time together.

 

Leon Davis,

London, England

copyright ©2010 Leon Davis, All rights reserved.